Programma's · Jealousy & envy · Green Light
Green Light
Working with jealousy and envy using DBT
Jealousy protects something you have. Envy points at something you want. Neither is a character flaw, and neither is a verdict on your relationship — they're urges, with a signature compulsion behind them: checking. The phone scroll, the profile re-check, the comparison spiral. Checking buys about ten seconds of relief and teaches the brain to check again at the next spike. This program runs chain analysis to find where a skill can enter, a declining weekly ceiling on checking, and opposite action for spikes that don't fit the facts.
The loop has a shape, too
- The phone checked one more time, for a feeling that lasts ten seconds.
- A profile re-read looking for a different meaning.
- A comparison spiral that eats an evening.
- Envy that arrives with shame attached, so it never gets looked at directly.
- Reassurance that works briefly and then needs topping up.
Your log brings the ceiling down
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Green Light counts the checking episodes you actually have, then sets a weekly maximum that declines from your own baseline — the response-prevention mechanism, aimed at a relationship rather than a body.
Measure
A sixty-second log after any spike — what set it off, how loud it ran, whether you checked, and whether you took the opposite action instead.
as it happens · 60 secLearn
Short sessions with Nathan teach the method — the two jobs, the checking compulsion, chain analysis, urge surfing, opposite action.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review sets next week's checking ceiling, declining from your own measured baseline.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
This isn't a target you hit or miss — it's a weekly maximum on checking episodes that comes down from where you actually started. The same math health-anxiety response prevention uses, pointed at a relationship instead of a body. Distress usually rises before it falls when checking drops; the program predicts that openly rather than treating it as failure.
Six weeks, one method
Fifteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline checking report.
Week 1What Jealousy and Envy Are ForTwo jobs, one loop3 sessies
Week 2The ChainLights on, never blame3 sessies
Week 3The Urge to CheckSurf it, delay it, or turn toward your life4 sessies
Week 4Reducing the BehaviorA ceiling coming down4 sessies
Week 5What Checking Was Standing In ForThe conversation, the compass, the foundation4 sessies
Week 6Trusting Without CheckingYour data, your standing practice2 sessies
Nathan
DBT: crisis & impulse · begeleidt 4 programma's
The crisis-and-impulse specialist — calm, direct, built for the moment right before you do something you'll regret. Nathan's whole job is the sixty seconds between urge and action.
“Hi, I'm Nathan. Over the next six weeks we're not going to talk you out of feeling jealous — we're going to bring the checking down, and find out what it was standing in for.”
Urge mechanics, plus response prevention
Green Light applies the DBT urge and compulsion mechanics — the spike-crest-fall curve, opposite action, and chain and solution analysis — to the signature compulsion behind jealousy and envy: checking and monitoring. The titration reuses the checking-reduction discipline from health-anxiety response prevention, with the same math aimed at a relationship rather than a body.
- Urge mechanicsspike-crest-fall, urge surfing
- Opposite action
- Chain and solution analysis
- Checking-reduction targetsresponse prevention
Your experience — never someone else's phone
This program treats your own jealousy and envy, and never surveillance or control of another person. Checking that has crossed into monitoring a partner's devices or location without consent, restricting their contacts, or demanding access as a condition of trust routes to a plain referral and restricts the program to the internal-experience track. Nothing locks — but the monitoring content does not open.
The reverse flag matters just as much: jealousy that is a reasonable response to a confirmed deception, or to an unsafe relationship, routes to relationship-focused work by name — because the target there is the relationship, not the jealousy. Both referral chips persist after graduation. This is not medical or relationship-therapy advice.
Green Light, naast de concurrentie
| Green LightResiliens | RetroactiveJealousy.com (Zachary Stockill)retroactivejealousy.com | Jealousy CBT Tools (Excel At Life)play.google.com | Jealousy Helperapps.apple.com | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Prijs | $149 eenmalig (concept) — het programma is van jou | $397 per course; $5,000 for 12 weeks of 1:1 coaching | Free, ad-supported | $2.99/month |
| Structuur | 6 weken · 15 sessies + wekelijkse evaluaties | Fixed video sequence — 11+ hours across six sections in one course, eight weeks of daily video lessons in the other. Self-paced, no measurement | A toolbox rather than a program — no weeks, no sequence, no completion. A 'Why Are You Jealous?' test scoring six underlying fears, a cognitive diary, mood log with graphs, articles, and an audio that coaches you through a jealous episode | A single five-minute session, not a program: paced breathing on the long exhale, somatic grounding, then 'what is this feeling trying to protect?' and one next step |
| Personalisatie | Jealousy-urge log → checking baseline → a ceiling coming down | None | The fear-profile test shapes which material is relevant; nothing is measured over time or titrated | None described |
| Menselijke ondersteuning | Zelfstandig begeleid · ingebouwde doorverwijzingsdrempels naar clinici | None in the courses; coaching is a separate $5,000 product | None. Data stays on the device and can be emailed to a therapist | None |
| Toegang | Zelfbediening, begin vandaag | Web only — no iOS, no Android | Free on Google Play; no iOS version exists | Direct-to-consumer on iOS |
| Breedte | 24+ programma's in catalogus · bundel 2-3 verwante programma's en bespaar | Retroactive jealousy specifically: jealousy about a partner's past. Not envy, not rival-focused jealousy, not comparison — though bonus modules on compulsive reassurance-seeking come closest to the checking mechanic | Explicitly scoped to irrational romantic jealousy, excluding delusional and rational jealousy. No envy. Its own screening questions name checking and reassurance-seeking — but it offers no protocol to bring them down | Dedicated to jealousy, aimed specifically at polyamorous and open-relationship users |
| Platforms | Web · iOS · Android | Web | Android | iOS |
Bronnen: prijzen en programmapagina's van concurrenten — elke productiewaarde bevat een bron-URL en toegangsdatum, en niet-gepubliceerde feiten worden aangeduid als "niet gepubliceerd", nooit geraden.
Waarom we het anders hebben gebouwd
- A ceiling that actually comes down. Naming the checking is where the rest of this category stops. Green Light counts your episodes and sets a weekly maximum that declines from your own baseline — the response-prevention mechanism, pointed at a relationship.
- Jealousy and envy, not just a partner's past. The leading products treat retroactive jealousy alone. Both urges are here, with envy treated as a compass worth reading rather than a flaw to suppress.
- A screen that routes you away from the wrong door. Checking that has crossed into monitoring someone routes to referral and closes that content off — which matters in a category whose search results are crowded with apps built to help you surveil a partner.
Start gratis. Ga verder als het werkt.
Eerste week
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Jealousy-urge log
- Your baseline checking report
Volledig programma
- All six weeks of Green Light, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Werk je aan meer dan één ding? Verwante programma's worden gebundeld — twee of drie tegen korting. Bundels worden bij de lancering aangekondigd.
Voordat je begint
Is this about catching a partner out?
No — the opposite, explicitly. This program works on what happens in you before you ever touch their phone. Checking that has crossed into monitoring someone without their consent routes to referral and closes that content off.
What if my jealousy turns out to be justified?
Then jealousy isn't the thing to treat, and the program says so. A confirmed deception or an unsafe relationship routes you by name to relationship-focused work, because the target there is the relationship.
Is envy the same as jealousy here?
No, and the distinction does real work. Jealousy protects something you have; envy points at something you want. Week five treats envy as a compass worth reading rather than a flaw to suppress.
How much time does it take?
Sixty seconds after a spike, and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session. Logging hours late is fine.
Be first to get the green light
Green Light is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
Eén e-mail zodra je programma opent. Geen druppelcampagne.