Programme · Harsh self-criticism · Inner Ally
Inner Ally
Building self-compassion
The critic in your head claims it keeps your standards up. The data says otherwise: shame de-activates; kindness sustains effort. Six weeks of short sessions and small daily practices to build the inner ally — the voice that holds your standards and holds you. Ten minutes a day, tracked by your own numbers.
The critic has a shape, too
- An inner voice harsher than anything you'd say to a friend.
- Shame that shuts you down instead of pushing you forward.
- A suspicion that self-compassion means going soft, or letting yourself off the hook.
- Effort that only lasts as long as the fear does.
- A critic that never seems to clock off, even after you've done the work.
Your practice log drives the program
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Inner Ally reads how many days you practiced this week and adjusts your dose, the same way compassion-focused therapy builds the habit in a therapist's office.
Measure
A thirty-second evening check-in — what you practiced, how loud the critic was, and whether the ally answered.
daily · 30 secLearn
Short sessions with Nina teach the method — the critic's record, the case for the ally, the first practices.
10 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review reads your practice days and adjusts next week's dose.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
Practice five or more days in a week and the dose deepens by two minutes. Three or four holds it steady. Under three, the dose shrinks — down to a single sixty-second compassionate pause a day, but never to nothing. A thread, not a verdict.
Six weeks, one method
Seventeen sessions and six weekly check-ins. The first week is free — including your baseline inner-voice report.
Week 1The CaseThe critic's record, and the evidence for the ally3 Sitzungen
Week 2First PracticesSmall, real, daily4 Sitzungen
Week 3Common HumanityYou were never the only one4 Sitzungen
Week 4The Ally's VoiceDrafted, tested, kept4 Sitzungen
Week 5EmbodimentWarmth the body can feel4 Sitzungen
Week 6Keep the VoiceYour plan, your drill, your ally3 Sitzungen
Nina
Sleep, mood & the self cluster · begleitet 8 Programme
The steady behavioral coach — patient, methodical, quietly optimistic. Nina is the clinician-scientist who convinces you to spend less time in bed and makes it feel reasonable, talking about your numbers like a friendly scientist, not an accountant.
“Hi, I'm Nina. Over the next six weeks we're not going to lower your standards — we're going to build the voice that holds them, and holds you too.”
The self-compassion evidence base, faithfully built
Inner Ally implements Kristin Neff's self-compassion research — self-kindness, common humanity, mindful awareness — and Paul Gilbert's compassion-focused therapy, including the threat/drive/soothing systems and dose-controlled backdraft. Research on accountability and persistence shows shame de-activates while kindness sustains effort — the program is built around that finding, not around going easy.
- Self-compassion researchNeff — self-kindness, common humanity, mindful awareness
- Compassion-focused therapyGilbert — threat/drive/soothing systems
- Dose-controlled backdraft
- Accountability and persistence researchBreines & Chen; Neff et al.
Warmth gets dosed carefully
Backdraft — when kindness surfaces grief or pain instead of relief — is taught and expected here, not treated as a malfunction. When it shows up strong, the program doses down automatically: shorter guided practices, grounding first, and the rule stays shorten, ground, return — never push through flooding.
If what surfaces looks more like trauma — intrusive memories, feeling far from your body, being flooded rather than moved — the program says so plainly and points to a trauma-informed clinician or Steady Ground, alongside or before continuing. This program is not medical advice or a substitute for therapy.
Kostenlos starten. Weitermachen, wenn es wirkt.
Erste Woche
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Daily practice log
- Your baseline inner-voice report
Vollständiges Programm
- All six weeks of Inner Ally, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Arbeitest du an mehr als einem Thema? Verwandte Programme werden gebündelt — zwei oder drei zum Rabatt. Bundles werden zum Start bekannt gegeben.
Bevor du startest
Isn't self-compassion just letting myself off the hook?
No — the research says the opposite. Shame de-activates effort; kindness sustains it. Inner Ally builds a voice that holds your standards and holds you, not one that lowers the bar.
What if being kind to myself brings up grief or pain instead?
That's called backdraft, and it's taught here, not treated as a malfunction. When it shows up, practices automatically get shorter and gentler — shorten, ground, return — and if it looks more like trauma, you'll get a clear pointer to real support.
I'm skeptical this will work for me.
You don't have to believe it first. The program tracks your practice days and how loud the critic gets, so you can watch the ally's voice arrive earlier over six weeks — the data does the convincing, not a pep talk.
How much time does it take?
Thirty seconds each evening for the check-in, and about ten minutes most days for the session — though the dose can shrink to a single sixty-second pause on a hard week. It never drops to nothing.
Be first to meet your ally
Inner Ally is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
Eine E-Mail, sobald dein Programm startet. Keine Drip-Kampagne.