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Common Ground
Getting your needs met while keeping the relationship with DBT
Most people were never taught to ask. This program teaches the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills: a script for asking that people can hear, skills for protecting the relationship and your self-respect while you do it, and a clean no that holds. You practice on a ladder of real asks, starting smaller than you think, and your own log keeps the honest score.
Cu coach-ul SimoneProgramul pe scurt
- Pentru cine este
- For anyone who swallows their needs, says yes when they mean no, rehearses conversations for days without having them, or asks in ways that start fights they never wanted.
- Ce este
- A structured 6-week DBT program for relationships, built from the protocol clinicians use.
- Format
- 10–15 min/day — coach videos, an ask log, and a weekly review that adapts your plan.
- Preț
- First week free — including your baseline asking report. Then $99, one-time — not a subscription.
The swallow has a shape, too
- Needs that get swallowed rather than said.
- A yes that arrives while you're still meaning no.
- Conversations rehearsed for days and never had.
- Asks that come out sideways and start a fight you never wanted.
- Resentment you can feel but can't quite locate.
Your ask ladder advances on self-respect
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Common Ground reads how you felt about yourself after each ask, not whether you got a yes, and prescribes the next rung from there.
Measure
A thirty-second weekly check-in — asks you didn't make, yeses you didn't mean, and where the resentment sits — plus a log for each real ask.
weekly + per askLearn
Short sessions with Simone teach the method — the three stakes, DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST, and the intensity dial.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review clears rungs and prescribes the next ask, calibrated against what you predicted would happen.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
A rung clears when you come out of the ask with your self-respect intact, on two separate attempts — and whether the person said yes is explicitly not counted. That's the honest measure: you control the asking, never the answer. The ladder starts smaller than most people expect, and a calibration chart shows your predictions against what actually happened.
Six weeks, one method
Fifteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline asking report.
Week 1The Three StakesThe map under every hard conversation3 sesiuni
Week 2DEAR MANThe script, and the first real asks4 sesiuni
Week 3GIVEThe relationship stake3 sesiuni
Week 4FAST and the NoThe stake you've been bleeding4 sesiuni
Week 5When It Doesn't WorkThe honest week4 sesiuni
Week 6Keep the VoiceYour data, your dashboard, your practice2 sesiuni
Simone
DBT: interpersonal effectiveness · ghidează 4 programe
The interpersonal-effectiveness coach — warm and refreshingly practical about relationships, scripts and all. Simone treats asking for what you need as a skill, not a personality trait.
“Hi, I'm Simone. Over the next six weeks we're not going to make people say yes — we're going to build the ask, and the record that shows you can make it.”
The interpersonal effectiveness module, faithfully built
Common Ground implements Linehan's DBT interpersonal effectiveness module — objectives, relationship and self-respect effectiveness; DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST; challenging the myths about asking; and the intensity factors that decide how hard to push — through behavioral rehearsal and self-monitoring on a ladder of real asks.
- The three stakesobjectives, relationship, self-respect — Linehan
- DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST
- Challenging myths about asking
- Intensity factors and behavioral rehearsal
Skills won't fix an unsafe relationship
The onboarding safety screen routes anyone afraid of a specific person's reaction to support resources first, and keeps that person's situations out of every practice session — the ladder is built only from contexts where asking is safe.
Power asymmetries at work, or around immigration status, are treated as real constraints rather than as a deficit in your skills. This is not medical advice, and not couples or family therapy.
Common Ground, alături de restul pieței
| Common GroundResiliens | UCEBT — DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Moduleucebt.teachable.com | dialecticalbehaviortherapy.comdialecticalbehaviortherapy.com | Rejection Therapyrejectiontherapy.com | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Preț | $99 plată unică (a fost $149) — programul este al tău | $75–$175 for the individual module; $435 for the four-module bundle | Free | $29.99/month or $99.99/year |
| Structură | 6 săptămâni · 15 sesiuni + evaluări săptămânale | 46 instructional and demonstration videos across the four modules, following Linehan's published handouts and worksheets | Thirteen IE pages — communication styles, assertiveness skills, validation, boundaries, modulating intensity, conflict, then DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST — each with a video and a downloadable worksheet | A daily challenge to go and get rejected, plus a course and card decks. Not a skills curriculum |
| Personalizare | Ask log → self-respect rating → next rung | None — and the page says so outright: no tracking, no quizzes, no assignments | None. No account, no login, no saved state | None described |
| Suport uman | Auto-ghidat · praguri de recomandare către clinician incluse | None; entirely self-paced | None | None |
| Acces | Auto-servire, începe azi | Direct-to-consumer, web, lifetime | Free and open on the web | Direct-to-consumer subscription |
| Amploare | Catalog de peste 70 de programe · combină 2-3 programe conexe și economisește | The interpersonal module can be bought alone, which is unusual — though the course page doesn't name DEAR MAN, GIVE or FAST | The full curriculum, and the honest baseline: the teaching itself is free and reasonably thorough | Asks specifically — but aimed at desensitising you to refusal rather than at getting a need met while keeping the relationship |
| Platforme | Web · iOS · Android | Web | Web | iOS |
Surse: prețurile concurenței și paginile programelor — fiecare valoare din producție are un URL sursă și o dată de acces, iar faptele nepublicate sunt etichetate „nepublicat”, niciodată ghicite.
De ce l-am construit diferit
- The ladder is made of real asks. Not scenarios to read about or a blank ladder to fill in yourself — a curated hierarchy of requests, starting smaller than most people expect, with the next rung prescribed from what you actually did.
- You're scored on your half, not theirs. A rung clears on your self-respect rating, twice, with the answer explicitly not counted. The one product built around asking runs the opposite rule — it requires you to be rejected daily and treats a yes as a failure.
- Free teaching, finally instrumented. The best free site teaches DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST properly and can't do anything with what you try. The paid courses are video libraries that say plainly they include no tracking. This runs the practice and keeps the score.
Începe gratuit. Continuă dacă funcționează.
Prima săptămână
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Weekly check-in + ask log
- Your baseline asking report
Programul complet
- All six weeks of Common Ground, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Lucrezi la mai multe lucruri în același timp? Programele conexe se pot combina — două sau trei la un preț redus. Prețurile pentru pachete vor fi disponibile în curând.
Aprofundează înainte de a începe Common Ground
- DEAR MAN: DBT Scripts for Hard ConversationsDEAR MAN is a DBT framework for asking for what you need or saying no clearly, with real scripts for common, hard conversations.8 min read min de citit
- " Interpersonal Effectiveness in DBT: Learn effective communication skills""Interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT teach us effective6 min read min de citit
- Walking the Middle Path: DBT Skills for Better RelationshipsHow the DBT skill Walking the Middle Path uses dialectics and validation to reduce all-or-nothing conflict and rebuild trust in close relationships.8 min read min de citit
Înainte să începi
Will this make people say yes to me?
No, and we won't pretend otherwise. The other person always gets a vote. What the program builds is the ask — and the ladder clears on how you felt about yourself afterwards, explicitly regardless of the answer you got.
What if asking isn't safe in one of my relationships?
The onboarding screen checks for that directly, routes you to support resources first, and keeps that person's situations out of every practice session. Skills don't fix an unsafe relationship, and the program says so.
Isn't DEAR MAN just a script?
It's a script you then have to hold under pressure, which is why week two covers staying in it and week four covers the intensity dial. The ladder exists so you practise on real asks rather than rehearsing in your head.
How much time does it take?
Thirty seconds for the weekly check-in, a short log after each real ask, and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session. The asks themselves are the work.
Cât costă și este un abonament?
Prima săptămână este gratuită, fără a fi nevoie de card. Programul complet costă $99, plătit o singură dată — nu există abonament și nimic de anulat. Când îl termini, rămâne al tău.
Cum știu dacă funcționează?
Completezi un chestionar validat la început, apoi din nou la fiecare revizuire săptămânală, astfel încât progresul este un număr pe care îl poți urmări, nu doar o serie de zile consecutive. Pe parcursul a 6 revizuiri săptămânale, programul îți adaptează planul pe baza propriilor date — iar dacă numărul nu se schimbă, vei observa și asta.
Find common ground
Start the first week of Common Ground free — onboarding, two full sessions, your daily log, and your baseline report. Continue only if it's working.
Fără card pentru prima săptămână. Programul complet costă $99, plată unică — nu este un abonament.