프로그램 · Relationships · Common Ground
Common Ground
Getting your needs met while keeping the relationship with DBT
Most people were never taught to ask. This program teaches the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills: a script for asking that people can hear, skills for protecting the relationship and your self-respect while you do it, and a clean no that holds. You practice on a ladder of real asks, starting smaller than you think, and your own log keeps the honest score.
Simone 코치와 함께프로그램 한눈에 보기
- 이런 분들께 적합해요
- For anyone who swallows their needs, says yes when they mean no, rehearses conversations for days without having them, or asks in ways that start fights they never wanted.
- 프로그램 소개
- A structured 6-week DBT program for relationships, built from the protocol clinicians use.
- 형식
- 10–15 min/day — coach videos, an ask log, and a weekly review that adapts your plan.
- 가격
- First week free — including your baseline asking report. Then $99, one-time — not a subscription.
The swallow has a shape, too
- Needs that get swallowed rather than said.
- A yes that arrives while you're still meaning no.
- Conversations rehearsed for days and never had.
- Asks that come out sideways and start a fight you never wanted.
- Resentment you can feel but can't quite locate.
Your ask ladder advances on self-respect
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Common Ground reads how you felt about yourself after each ask, not whether you got a yes, and prescribes the next rung from there.
Measure
A thirty-second weekly check-in — asks you didn't make, yeses you didn't mean, and where the resentment sits — plus a log for each real ask.
weekly + per askLearn
Short sessions with Simone teach the method — the three stakes, DEAR MAN, GIVE, FAST, and the intensity dial.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review clears rungs and prescribes the next ask, calibrated against what you predicted would happen.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
A rung clears when you come out of the ask with your self-respect intact, on two separate attempts — and whether the person said yes is explicitly not counted. That's the honest measure: you control the asking, never the answer. The ladder starts smaller than most people expect, and a calibration chart shows your predictions against what actually happened.
Six weeks, one method
Fifteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline asking report.
Week 1The Three StakesThe map under every hard conversation3회 세션
Week 2DEAR MANThe script, and the first real asks4회 세션
Week 3GIVEThe relationship stake3회 세션
Week 4FAST and the NoThe stake you've been bleeding4회 세션
Week 5When It Doesn't WorkThe honest week4회 세션
Week 6Keep the VoiceYour data, your dashboard, your practice2회 세션
Simone
DBT: interpersonal effectiveness · 4개 프로그램을 이끌고 있습니다
The interpersonal-effectiveness coach — warm and refreshingly practical about relationships, scripts and all. Simone treats asking for what you need as a skill, not a personality trait.
“Hi, I'm Simone. Over the next six weeks we're not going to make people say yes — we're going to build the ask, and the record that shows you can make it.”
The interpersonal effectiveness module, faithfully built
Common Ground implements Linehan's DBT interpersonal effectiveness module — objectives, relationship and self-respect effectiveness; DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST; challenging the myths about asking; and the intensity factors that decide how hard to push — through behavioral rehearsal and self-monitoring on a ladder of real asks.
- The three stakesobjectives, relationship, self-respect — Linehan
- DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST
- Challenging myths about asking
- Intensity factors and behavioral rehearsal
Skills won't fix an unsafe relationship
The onboarding safety screen routes anyone afraid of a specific person's reaction to support resources first, and keeps that person's situations out of every practice session — the ladder is built only from contexts where asking is safe.
Power asymmetries at work, or around immigration status, are treated as real constraints rather than as a deficit in your skills. This is not medical advice, and not couples or family therapy.
Common Ground, 다른 서비스와 비교하면
| Common GroundResiliens | UCEBT — DBT Interpersonal Effectiveness Moduleucebt.teachable.com | dialecticalbehaviortherapy.comdialecticalbehaviortherapy.com | Rejection Therapyrejectiontherapy.com | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 가격 | $99 일회성 결제 (정가 $149) — 프로그램은 이제 당신의 것입니다 | $75–$175 for the individual module; $435 for the four-module bundle | Free | $29.99/month or $99.99/year |
| 구성 | 6주 · 15회 세션 + 주간 리뷰 | 46 instructional and demonstration videos across the four modules, following Linehan's published handouts and worksheets | Thirteen IE pages — communication styles, assertiveness skills, validation, boundaries, modulating intensity, conflict, then DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST — each with a video and a downloadable worksheet | A daily challenge to go and get rejected, plus a course and card decks. Not a skills curriculum |
| 개인 맞춤화 | Ask log → self-respect rating → next rung | None — and the page says so outright: no tracking, no quizzes, no assignments | None. No account, no login, no saved state | None described |
| 사람의 지원 | 자가 진행 · 임상 전문가 연계 기준 내장 | None; entirely self-paced | None | None |
| 이용 방법 | 셀프서비스, 오늘 바로 시작 | Direct-to-consumer, web, lifetime | Free and open on the web | Direct-to-consumer subscription |
| 프로그램 범위 | 70개 이상의 프로그램 카탈로그 · 관련 프로그램 2-3개 묶음 할인 | The interpersonal module can be bought alone, which is unusual — though the course page doesn't name DEAR MAN, GIVE or FAST | The full curriculum, and the honest baseline: the teaching itself is free and reasonably thorough | Asks specifically — but aimed at desensitising you to refusal rather than at getting a need met while keeping the relationship |
| 플랫폼 | Web · iOS · Android | Web | Web | iOS |
출처: 경쟁사 가격 및 프로그램 페이지 — 모든 실제 수치에는 출처 URL과 확인 날짜가 함께 표기되며, 공개되지 않은 정보는 추측하지 않고 "공개되지 않음"으로 표시됩니다.
우리가 다르게 만든 이유
- The ladder is made of real asks. Not scenarios to read about or a blank ladder to fill in yourself — a curated hierarchy of requests, starting smaller than most people expect, with the next rung prescribed from what you actually did.
- You're scored on your half, not theirs. A rung clears on your self-respect rating, twice, with the answer explicitly not counted. The one product built around asking runs the opposite rule — it requires you to be rejected daily and treats a yes as a failure.
- Free teaching, finally instrumented. The best free site teaches DEAR MAN, GIVE and FAST properly and can't do anything with what you try. The paid courses are video libraries that say plainly they include no tracking. This runs the practice and keeps the score.
무료로 시작하세요. 효과가 있을 때만 계속하세요.
첫 주
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Weekly check-in + ask log
- Your baseline asking report
전체 프로그램
- All six weeks of Common Ground, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
여러 가지를 동시에 다루고 계신가요? 관련 프로그램은 묶어서 진행할 수 있습니다 — 두세 개를 할인된 가격으로. 번들 가격 정책은 곧 제공될 예정입니다.
시작하기 전에
Will this make people say yes to me?
No, and we won't pretend otherwise. The other person always gets a vote. What the program builds is the ask — and the ladder clears on how you felt about yourself afterwards, explicitly regardless of the answer you got.
What if asking isn't safe in one of my relationships?
The onboarding screen checks for that directly, routes you to support resources first, and keeps that person's situations out of every practice session. Skills don't fix an unsafe relationship, and the program says so.
Isn't DEAR MAN just a script?
It's a script you then have to hold under pressure, which is why week two covers staying in it and week four covers the intensity dial. The ladder exists so you practise on real asks rather than rehearsing in your head.
How much time does it take?
Thirty seconds for the weekly check-in, a short log after each real ask, and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session. The asks themselves are the work.
비용은 얼마이고, 구독제인가요?
첫 주는 무료이며, 카드 등록이 필요하지 않습니다. 전체 프로그램은 $99로 일회성 결제이며, 구독이나 해지 절차가 없습니다. 프로그램을 완료하면 계속 소유하실 수 있습니다.
효과가 있는지 어떻게 알 수 있나요?
시작할 때 검증된 설문지를 작성하고, 매주 진행되는 리뷰마다 다시 작성하므로 진행 상황을 연속 기록이 아닌 숫자로 확인할 수 있습니다. 6번의 주간 리뷰를 거치며 프로그램이 본인의 데이터를 기반으로 계획을 조정하며, 숫자가 변하지 않는다면 그 사실도 확인하실 수 있습니다.
Find common ground
Start the first week of Common Ground free — onboarding, two full sessions, your daily log, and your baseline report. Continue only if it's working.
첫 주는 카드 등록이 필요 없습니다. 전체 프로그램은 $99이며, 일회성 결제입니다 — 구독이 아닙니다.