프로그램 · Fear of abandonment · Anchored
Anchored
Calming fear of abandonment and relationship storms with DBT
A slow reply. A canceled plan. A raised voice. For some people, a cue like that doesn't just register — it detonates, straight to crisis pitch, in under a second. What follows is message after message until someone answers, or leaving first so it's never done to you. This program doesn't try to argue that alarm down; it was built from real history, and six weeks won't unbuild it. Instead it aims DBT's crisis skills, check-the-facts work, and opposite action at one narrow target: the gap between the spike and whatever you do next. A sixty-second fear log turns every spike into evidence, and a plain, unranked relationship-behavior ledger shows you the pattern — usually for the first time as a pattern, rather than a series of unconnected crises.
Ruth 코치와 함께프로그램 한눈에 보기
- 이런 분들께 적합해요
- For anyone who reads a slow reply, a canceled plan, or a raised voice as proof a relationship is ending, and answers at crisis intensity every time — reaching hard for contact, or leaving first, or testing, so you're never the one left waiting.
- 프로그램 소개
- A structured 6-week DBT program for fear of abandonment, built from the protocol clinicians use.
- 형식
- 10–15 min/day — coach videos, a fear log, and a weekly review that adapts your plan.
- 가격
- First week free — including your baseline fear log reading. Then $99, one-time — not a subscription.
The alarm has a shape, too
- A cue lands and you're at crisis pitch in under a second.
- Message after message until somebody answers.
- Leaving first, so it's never done to you.
- Testing someone to find out whether they'll stay.
- Afterwards, wondering who that was.
Every spike becomes evidence
Not a course you watch — a record you build. Anchored logs what triggered the spike, how hard it ran, the urge it brought, and whether a skill got there before you acted.
Measure
Sixty seconds once a spike has passed — never mid-spike, that's what the skills are for. The trigger, the intensity, the urge, whether a skill entered before you acted, and what actually happened.
after the spike · 60 secLearn
Short sessions with Ruth teach the method — STOP and TIPP aimed at the spike, urge surfing, checking the cue, and opposite action in both directions.
10–15 min · most daysRead
The weekly review reads your rate back to you and nothing else. No rung to clear, no target set for you, no verdict on the week.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
One number, watched rather than prescribed. It's the share of logged spikes where a skill got in before the action — and it's deliberately the only headline, because fear intensity itself often moves less over six weeks than people expect. This program says that plainly rather than treating it as a shortfall. What tends to move is this rate, and how long a spike takes to resolve.
Six weeks, one target
Fifteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline fear log reading.
Week 1The AlarmDecoded, and named in both directions3회 세션
Week 2The Crisis Skills, Aimed HereSTOP, TIPP, and the urge on a clock4회 세션
Week 3Check the Facts, Here TooThe cue, the fear validated, the ledger4회 세션
Week 4Opposite Action, Here TooThe qualifier first, then both directions4회 세션
Week 5Building Steadier GroundKnown storms, other pillars, and the honest session4회 세션
Week 6AnchoredYour data, and where next1회 세션
Ruth
DBT: high-caution clinical care · 4개 프로그램을 이끌고 있습니다
The senior coach for DBT's heaviest material — unhurried, deeply serious about safety, and honest about when self-help needs a referral alongside it. Ruth is Grace's DBT counterpart.
“Hi, I'm Ruth. Over the next six weeks I'm not going to tell you the alarm is wrong — it learned what it learned honestly. We're going to work on the gap between it going off and what you do next.”
Crisis skills, pointed at one gap
Anchored aims DBT's crisis-survival and emotion-regulation skills — STOP, TIPP, urge surfing, check the facts, self-validation, opposite action and cope ahead — at the amplified attachment alarm specifically, with behavioral self-monitoring of the gap between a fear spike and the contact or exit urge it produces.
- STOP and TIPP for the spikeLinehan crisis survival
- Urge surfing, and the urge on a clock
- Opposite action in both directionspursuit and pre-emptive leaving
- Behavioral self-monitoring of the gap
The strongest screen in the suite, and an honest place in your care
This is skills support alongside professional care, not a replacement for it — and the program says so repeatedly rather than once. For a fear running at this intensity, full DBT with a clinician (individual therapy, a skills group, phone coaching) is the evidence-based standard, and nothing here pretends to stand in for it.
Crisis resources are pinned one tap away for everyone from onboarding, not only when a screen flags something. If abandonment fear is currently bringing urges to hurt yourself, the screen routes you to referral first — framed as care, because that is what it is. Later in the program, a domestic-violence resources card pins for every user, because the session that teaches the difference between a fear that's amplified and a relationship that's genuinely unsafe is taught to everyone.
Where the fear has been coming out as checking, monitoring or controlling a partner, that gets named and gets a standing referral card — it does not change your program, and it is never treated as the same thing as risk to yourself. This is not medical advice.
무료로 시작하세요. 효과가 있을 때만 계속하세요.
첫 주
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Fear log
- Your baseline fear log reading
전체 프로그램
- All six weeks of Anchored, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
여러 가지를 동시에 다루고 계신가요? 관련 프로그램은 묶어서 진행할 수 있습니다 — 두세 개를 할인된 가격으로. 번들 가격 정책은 곧 제공될 예정입니다.
시작하기 전에
Will this make the fear go away?
No, and the program says so in week one rather than at the end. The alarm was built from real history and six weeks won't unbuild it. What the six weeks work on is the gap between the spike and the action — which is the part a skill can actually reach.
Do I log during a spike?
Never. Sixty seconds after it's passed, honestly, even hours late. Mid-spike is what the skills are for. The only real miss is a spike that never gets logged at all.
Does it score my relationships or tell me what to do about them?
No. The ledger has no verdict column and no score, and the weekly review reads your rate back to you without setting a target. It shows you the pattern — usually for the first time as a pattern rather than a series of unconnected crises — and what you do with that is yours.
Is this a substitute for therapy?
No, and it's built to say that more than once. For a fear at this intensity, full DBT with a clinician is the standard of care. This runs alongside it, and if you're not currently in care the program encourages it rather than filling the gap quietly.
비용은 얼마이고, 구독제인가요?
첫 주는 무료이며, 카드 등록이 필요하지 않습니다. 전체 프로그램은 $99로 일회성 결제이며, 구독이나 해지 절차가 없습니다. 프로그램을 완료하면 계속 소유하실 수 있습니다.
효과가 있는지 어떻게 알 수 있나요?
시작할 때 검증된 설문지를 작성하고, 매주 진행되는 리뷰마다 다시 작성하므로 진행 상황을 연속 기록이 아닌 숫자로 확인할 수 있습니다. 6번의 주간 리뷰를 거치며 프로그램이 본인의 데이터를 기반으로 계획을 조정하며, 숫자가 변하지 않는다면 그 사실도 확인하실 수 있습니다.
Close the gap
Start the first week of Anchored free — onboarding, two full sessions, your daily log, and your baseline report. Continue only if it's working.
첫 주는 카드 등록이 필요 없습니다. 전체 프로그램은 $99이며, 일회성 결제입니다 — 구독이 아닙니다.