How to overcome Loneliness?

Yonder, lightening other loads,

The seasons range the country roads,

But here in London streets I ken

No such helpmates, only men;

And these are not in plight to bear,

If they would, another’s care.

They have enough as ’tis: I see

In many an eye that measures me

The mortal sickness of a mind

Too unhappy to be kind …

This is an excerpt from one of the 63 famous poetries of A.E. Houseman- In My Own Shire, If I was Sad. These lines present the condition of a Shropshire Lad, who had to shift to the busy city of London from a rural area in 1896. Surrounded by hundreds of people, the lad felt enormously lonely.

Loneliness is a subjective experience. It isn’t defined by the quantity of relationships but the quality. An individual may have hundreds of acquaintances and still feel alone. In contrast, others with a single loyal buddy may feel contented.

Difference between Being Alone and Feeling Lonely

Often people mix-up the two overpowering experiences and consider them the same. However, they are strikingly different. Loneliness creates a vacuum while being alone helps in recharging.

To define in simple terms, loneliness is triggered by the absence of companionship. If prolonged, it can cause serious harm to the well-being and mental health.

Being a homebody, my energy comes from being alone. As an ambivert, I prefer a balance between social connectedness and solitude, which has made me cope with this isolating COVID-19 period.

One can travel alone, eat alone, work alone, and still be at complete peace. Loneliness, however, hits differently. It can make somebody feel “odd one out” as they feel a lack of emotional support.

Prolonged loneliness is the zone of vulnerability where no individual should reach, as it poses a higher risk of physical and mental illness.

While it’s impossible to feel better overnight, there are some ways to cope with this powerful emotion and develop yourself as an individual.

Top 8 Ways to Overcome Loneliness

1. Acceptance is the first step

Loneliness is a loop, and don’t let yourself fall into its web. This is just a feeling which shall pass. Maybe at this moment, you’re feeling lonely, dejected, but remember it’s not going to stay for long. Acknowledge, accept, and breathe out.

2. Reconnect with your Loved ones

You may feel unloved or forgotten during those lonely moments. However, this is not true. Get back in touch with your loved ones, and you shall again feel welcomed. Plan outings or maybe puke your heart out over a call; stop those whirling thoughts that are messing with your brain. Be courageous and reach out to your lost contacts, and it implies to both your family and friends.

3. Change your Perspective

Thinking about sadness or loneliness is only going to attract more sorrow in your life. Do things that change your perspective and show you the brighter side of the situation.

Jot your emotions in a journal. Show gratitude via your words. Write the top 5 things that you’re thankful for and witness the change in your life. The key here is to trick your mind in seeing the best, not the worst.

4. The Four-Legged can do Wonders

When I look into the eyes of an animal I do not see an animal. I see a living being. I see a friend. I feel a soul.

• A.D. Willams

A pet eases your loneliness. In fact, pet therapy is highly practiced as it has a massive impact on social skills and mental health. Please don't underestimate the power of a furred one; they are known to be human beings' best companions.

5. Social Media Detoxing

Social Media is not always entertaining. At times, it amplifies your loneliness by presenting the best of everybody’s lives. Your friend’s wedding, job promotion, family vacation- social Media presents a pretty picture, which is the partial truth of life. Hence, instead of checking people’s happy times, focus on your situation, and take a step back. Limit your time on social media and see inside yourself. This is one of the most crucial steps in breaking the loneliness trap.

6. Have a Good Time Alone

Maybe your mind has been tricked into thinking that an individual can only be happy with other people, which is not true. There is a lot of happiness in being alone. Paint your surroundings, get your favorite book, play old school music, or binge-watch some popular series. Learn to enjoy your own company, and you may be surprised. After all, who knows you better in this world apart from yourself?

7. Explore New Hobbies or maybe revive the Old Ones

One of the excellent ways of combating loneliness is to try new activities. Join an NGO or a new skill class aligning with your passions, get involved in a book club, and explore learning. Try gardening or volunteer teaching slum kids- do what it takes to fill your heart's vacuum. Developing new skills and lending a helping hand is going to increase your self-esteem.

8. Talk to a Consultant or avail Online Therapy Services

Talk to a professional therapist and share your problems. Also, this digitized world has facilitated everything. There are many reliable therapy services available online for various issues. Online Therapy apps such as DBT Coach can help in treating symptoms of depressive orders, including loneliness.

Although the online services may look different, they can have similar effects like in-person therapy. DBT Coach is equipped with 100+ video lessons, an internal journal, 200+ animations, and a great user experience.

You don’t have to suffer alone, Seek for Help!

If you have struggled with long-term loneliness or a mental crisis for weeks, months, or years, we encourage you to reach out for help. Please seek support -

• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Health) programs work to improve Americans' lives affected by mental illness.
• The Lonely Hour is a popular podcast that helps people open up about their struggles and isolation and loneliness.

If you're in a situation where you want to self-harm, remove any weapons surrounding you, and contact-

• Text "HOME" to the Crisis Textline at 741741.
• Call 911 or your local emergency services contact number.

Give a ring to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255.

Remember, “Place your hand over your heart, can you feel it? That is called purpose. You’re alive for a reason so don’t ever give up.”

Happy Living!