Програми · Self-invalidation · Valid
Valid
Taking your own feelings seriously: self-validation with DBT
There may be a voice in you that answers every feeling with a verdict: overreacting, shouldn't feel this, others have it worse. That voice never made one feeling smaller — it only added a second wound. This program teaches DBT self-validation: catching the verdicts, substituting a sentence that holds — it makes sense that I feel this — and reading what your feelings have been trying to tell you.
The verdict has a shape, too
- A feeling arrives and something in you rules on it before it's been heard.
- "Overreacting." "Shouldn't feel this." "Others have it worse."
- Being talked out of your own reaction — by yourself.
- A second wound layered on top of the first one.
- Having learned early that feelings were something to correct.
Your own phrases become the target
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Valid counts the verdicts you catch yourself handing down, tracks how many you managed to answer, and points next week at whichever phrase you use most.
Measure
Thirty seconds per catch when a verdict fires, plus one tap each evening on how loud the self-criticism was.
as it happens + daily tapLearn
Short sessions with Iris teach the method — what validation is, where the reflex came from, the substitution, the six levels turned inward.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review names your most-used phrase and sets it as the target, breaking ties by whichever you've answered least.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
The headline number isn't how few verdicts you hand down — that reflex was learned too early to delete. It's what share of the ones you catch become a makes-sense sentence instead. Early on the truer sentence arrives seconds behind the verdict; by week six it's arriving alongside it.
Six weeks, one method
Fifteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline phrase map.
Week 1The Case for Your FeelingsTwo rooms, and where the reflex came from3 сесій
Week 2The CatchThe vocabulary, and the substitution3 сесій
Week 3Emotions as InformationThe mail, the size question, and the AND4 сесій
Week 4The Six Levels, InwardListening to yourself, all the way down4 сесій
Week 5Under FireHolding your ground, drawing the line, launching4 сесій
Week 6The Standing PracticeYour data, your daily act, your own side2 сесій
Iris
DBT: the sensitive self · веде 4 програм
The coach for the sensitive self — gentle, validating, alert to shame before it takes over the room. Iris's throughline is taking your own feelings seriously enough to actually use them.
“Hi, I'm Iris. Over the next six weeks we're not going to argue you into liking your feelings — we're going to catch the verdicts and put a truer sentence next to them, until it starts arriving first.”
The six levels, turned inward
Valid is built on Linehan's biosocial model — the invalidating environment, once internalised — and teaches the six levels of validation aimed at yourself, together with the validate-before-problem-solving sequence and self-monitoring of your own invalidating speech.
- The biosocial modelthe internalised invalidating environment — Linehan
- The six levels of validation, turned inward
- Validate before problem-solving
- Self-monitoring of invalidating speech
Present-day reflex only
This program works the reflex as it fires today. It does no processing of where it came from — trauma-shaped invalidation histories with active symptoms get routed to Steady Ground, and that boundary is stated plainly rather than left implicit.
If punishing yourself has ever included hurting yourself, a crisis-resources card stays pinned for the whole program, because skills practice is not crisis care. Shame-dominant patterns get an honest routing note toward Unhidden. This is not medical advice.
Почніть безкоштовно. Продовжуйте, якщо це працює.
Перший тиждень
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Catch log + evening check-in
- Your baseline phrase map
Повна програма
- All six weeks of Valid, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Працюєте над кількома речами одночасно? Пов'язані програми об'єднуються разом — дві або три зі знижкою. Про пакети буде оголошено при запуску.
Перш ніж почати
Isn't validating my feelings just wallowing?
There's a session on exactly that line. Validation is acknowledging that a feeling makes sense — it isn't agreeing to sit in it, and week five pairs it with acting. The sequence is validate, then act, in that order.
Will this make the self-critical voice go away?
No, and we won't pretend otherwise. It was learned too early to delete. What changes is what arrives after it — the substitution, which starts seconds behind the verdict and ends up alongside it.
What if my feelings really are out of proportion?
Then the size question is the work, and week three covers it directly. "It makes sense that I feel this" and "this feeling is bigger than the situation" can both be true — that's what the AND is for.
How much time does it take?
Thirty seconds when you catch a verdict, one tap each evening, and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session.
Be first to take your own side
Valid is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
Один лист, коли ваша програма відкриється. Без розсилки листів.