Програми · Rejection sensitivity · Soft Landing
Soft Landing
Coping with rejection sensitivity using DBT
A slow reply. A flat tone. A message with no kiss on the end. Your radar reads it, delivers a verdict, and something in you reacts before anything is actually known. This program doesn't try to turn the radar off — it teaches it to wait for evidence. A two-phase log catches the guess and the truth side by side, a graded ladder rebuilds the habit of staying and asking instead of assuming and leaving, and your own chart ends up saying what six weeks of talking never could: most of what you feared never happened.
The radar has a shape, too
- A delayed reply read as proof of something.
- Going quiet first, so you can't be left first.
- Pushing for reassurance until the asking itself causes a problem.
- Disappearing into someone else's preferences to stay safe.
- Sometimes causing the rejection you were bracing for.
The guess and the truth, side by side
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Soft Landing logs what you predicted the moment a cue landed, then what actually turned out to be true, and charts the gap between them week after week.
Measure
A two-phase log: what you read into the cue and what you predicted, then later what actually happened — plus a twenty-second weekly check-in.
as it happens + weeklyLearn
Short sessions with Iris teach the method — the overtuned radar, checking the facts, the self-fulfilling spiral, opposite action for withdrawal.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review reads your calibration and your streak of held pauses, and sets the next small connection risk.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
The streak counts the times a cue landed and you checked instead of taking one of the three ramps — going quiet, pushing first, or disappearing into what someone else wants. It's counted in consecutive held reps rather than elapsed days, so a hard week costs you the streak and not the progress. Alongside it, the calibration chart accumulates the thing that argument can't deliver: how often the feared reading turned out to be wrong.
Six weeks, one method
Fourteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline calibration report.
Week 1The Overtuned RadarThe chain, and where yours came from3 сесии
Week 2Check the FactsThe ambiguous cue, and the two-phase log3 сесии
Week 3The Loop That Feeds ItselfThree ramps, the pause window, and makes-sense AND4 сесии
Week 4Staying PresentOpposite action, asking instead of assuming, tolerating the wait4 сесии
Week 5Rebuilding the RepsThe connection ladder, and the honest week3 сесии
Week 6A Radar You TrustYour data, your dashboard, your standing practice2 сесии
Iris
DBT: the sensitive self · води 4 програми
The coach for the sensitive self — gentle, validating, alert to shame before it takes over the room. Iris's throughline is taking your own feelings seriously enough to actually use them.
“Hi, I'm Iris. Over the next six weeks we're not going to switch your radar off — we're going to teach it to wait for evidence, and let your own chart show you how often it was wrong.”
Checking the facts, aimed at the radar
Soft Landing points the DBT emotion-regulation and interpersonal-effectiveness skills — check the facts, opposite action, and asking directly — at rejection sensitivity specifically, using prediction-versus-outcome recording from behavioral-experiment practice and the research on how anticipating rejection can produce it.
- Check the facts and opposite actionLinehan
- Prediction-versus-outcome recording
- Asking instead of assumingDEAR MAN
- The self-fulfilling-prophecy loop
A light screen, and an honest note about depth
This program teaches present-day pattern recognition and behavioral skills. It is not trauma processing. A real history of abandonment routes to Steady Ground for active symptoms without leaving this program, and crisis resources are shown to everyone from onboarding rather than gated behind any flag.
Where rejection fear runs at the intensity of abandonment terror — frantic prevention efforts, or relationships swinging between all-good and all-bad — the screen says honestly that deeper machinery is usually at work, points to Anchored, and frames this as clinician-adjunct. That's a note, not a gate.
Започнете безплатно. Продължете, ако работи.
Първа седмица
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Two-phase cue log + weekly check-in
- Your baseline calibration report
Пълна програма
- All six weeks of Soft Landing, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Работите върху повече от едно нещо? Свързаните програми се обединяват заедно — две или три с отстъпка. Пакетите се обявяват при старта.
Преди да започнете
What if I'm right and they are pulling away?
Then the log records that too, and week five has a session on it. The point isn't to talk you out of accurate readings — it's to find out which readings were accurate, which is exactly what the calibration chart measures.
Will this make me less sensitive to people?
No. The radar stays — it often reads real things. What the program changes is the half-second afterwards: a check before a reaction, rather than a verdict acted on immediately.
Is this the same as rejection sensitive dysphoria?
The pattern overlaps heavily with what's often called RSD, and the skills apply either way. This program treats the present-day mechanism rather than a label, and doesn't require any diagnosis to use.
How much time does it take?
The two-phase log takes about a minute in total — once when the cue lands, once when you know how it turned out — plus twenty seconds weekly and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session.
Be first to land soft
Soft Landing is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
Един имейл, когато вашата програма се отвори. Без поредица от съобщения.