Programmer · Parental reactivity · Steady Hands
Steady Hands
Parenting with big emotions, using DBT skills
The moment your own emotion drives a reaction to your child you later regret — that's the flashpoint. This program doesn't teach you how to parent; it teaches what happens in your body and mind in the two seconds before a reaction, and how to widen that gap. Brakes for the spike, opposite action for the urge to yell or over-punish, and repair afterwards — which the research says matters more than never losing your temper at all.
The flashpoint has a shape, too
- A moment with your child you'd take back if you could.
- Going from calm to shouting faster than you can catch it.
- The urge to over-punish, then the walk-back afterwards.
- Guilt that arrives long after the moment has passed.
- Advice that amounts to "just stay calm" — and never says how.
Your flashpoint log drives the program
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Steady Hands logs the moments that spike and reads how often your skill landed *before* the reaction rather than after, then sets the next rung.
Measure
A one-minute flashpoint log, whenever a moment spikes — event-triggered, because a nightly prompt on quiet days just teaches you to ignore prompts.
as it happens · 1 minLearn
Short sessions with Maya teach the method — the two seconds, the brakes, opposite action parent-edition, and repair.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review reads how often the skill came before the reaction and grows, holds, or steps down the pause.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
The number that matters is the share of logged flashpoints where the skill landed before the reaction, counted only on the moments that genuinely spiked. Clear it and the pause grows; miss it and it holds or steps down. No timer runs during a real flashpoint — the target is trained in advance, not counted in the moment.
Six weeks, one method
Fourteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline flashpoint report.
Week 1The FlashpointWhat happens in the two seconds3 økter
Week 2Widening the GapThe wedge, the brakes, and saying it out loud4 økter
Week 3The Urge and the OppositeNaming it, and doing the opposite4 økter
Week 4RepairWhy it matters, and exactly what to say4 økter
Week 5The Floor That HoldsWhat drains the gap, and a plan before it opens3 økter
Week 6Steady, Not PerfectYour data, and graduation1 økter
Maya
DBT: emotion regulation core · veileder 4 programmer
The steady emotion-regulation coach — warm, unhurried, and precise about what a feeling is actually doing before asking you to change anything. Maya treats big emotions as information, not malfunctions.
“Hi, I'm Maya. Over the next six weeks we're not going to teach you how to parent — we're going to widen the two seconds before you react, and make repair something you know how to do.”
Emotion regulation, aimed at the highest-stakes trigger
Steady Hands points the DBT emotion-regulation model at the single highest-stakes trigger a person can have: their own child. STOP and the TIPP-family brakes are compressed for a moment a child is watching; opposite action is rewritten parent-edition; and the repair work rests on rupture-and-repair research, where mending the moment — not avoiding it — is the lesson the child actually learns.
- STOP and body brakesDBT distress tolerance
- Opposite action, parent edition
- Rupture-and-repair
- Vulnerability factors and cope ahead
One true hard gate
The safety screen blocks the program past onboarding if it finds hitting, any other physical harm to a child, or a child's disclosed fear of the parent — held open until professional parenting support is engaged. That's framed as care and immediate real help, never an accusation and never a closed door.
What is explicitly *not* a gate: co-parent or single-parent stress, named as a vulnerability factor rather than a risk. A parent's own trauma history gets a gentle note and Steady Ground routing. A child's own regulation differences get an informational note that doesn't pathologize them. This is not medical advice, not crisis care, and not a parenting-philosophy program.
Steady Hands, sammenlignet med feltet
| Steady HandsResiliens | Good Inside (Dr. Becky Kennedy)goodinside.com | TheraHive Parent DBTtherahive.com | Curious Neuron — Reflective Parentcuriousneuron.com | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Pris | $149 engangsbeløp (utkast) — programmet er ditt | $84 per 3 months, or $279/year | $544 (group) to $1,080 (group + private), paid upfront for 8 weeks | $99 self-paced (lifetime access) |
| Struktur | 6 uker · 14 økter + ukentlige gjennomganger | Open membership library, not a fixed curriculum — unlimited access, new members-only content several times a week, monthly live events | Eight weeks, hybrid: roughly an hour of self-paced content plus a mandatory one-hour live group session each week, drawing on all four DBT modules | Fixed-duration programs rather than an open membership. The self-paced tier's module count could not be verified — its detail page returned a 404 |
| Personalisering | Flashpoint log → skill timing → pause prescription | Yes — daily support tailored to the child's age and needs, in five minutes or less | Cohort-based; the private tier swaps the group session for 1:1 coaching | None published for the self-paced tier |
| Menneskelig støtte | Selvstyrt · innebygde henvisningsporter til kliniker | Coach-moderated community, daily live 'Ask a Coach' sessions, and monthly events with Dr. Becky — not 1:1 therapy | Live and required — this is not a self-guided product | None at the self-paced tier; the cohort and 1:1 tiers are live |
| Tilgang | Selvbetjening, start i dag | Direct-to-consumer subscription | Cohort enrollment, web | Direct-to-consumer, delivered via a community platform on the web |
| Bredde | 24+ programkatalog · pakk 2-3 relaterte programmer og spar | Both parent regulation and child behavior, but weighted to the latter — marketing leads with tantrums, bedtime battles and sibling fights, aimed at parents of 2–10s | Parent's own emotional regulation, via the full DBT skills curriculum | The closest positioning match found — explicitly adult emotional skills first, and it contrasts itself with child-focused strategies |
| Plattformer | Web · iOS · Android | iOS · Android · Web | Web | Web |
Kilder: konkurrenters priser og programsider — hver produksjonsverdi har en kilde-URL og tilgangsdato, og upubliserte fakta merkes "ikke publisert", aldri gjettet.
Hvorfor vi bygde det annerledes
- It works on you, not your child. Most of this category teaches child behavior management with a parent-triggers module attached. Steady Hands is about the two seconds before you react — the urge, the brakes, and the repair afterwards.
- Repair is taught, not assumed. A full week on why repair matters, scripts by age, and how to repair without over-apologizing — because the research says mending the moment teaches more than never slipping.
- It screens, and says so. Disclosed physical harm, or a child's fear of a parent, pauses the program and points to real professional support first. That's a line no other product in this comparison publishes.
Start gratis. Fortsett hvis det fungerer.
Første uke
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Flashpoint log
- Your baseline flashpoint report
Fullt program
- All six weeks of Steady Hands, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Jobber du med mer enn én ting? Relaterte programmer pakkes sammen — to eller tre med rabatt. Pakker annonseres ved lansering.
Før du starter
Is this a parenting program?
Not in the usual sense — it never tells you how to parent, and it takes no position on discipline philosophy. It works on what happens in you in the two seconds before you react.
Does this mean I have to never lose my temper?
No, and the research is on your side here. Rupture followed by repair teaches a child more about emotion regulation than a parent who never slips. The program measures whether repair happened, not whether the flashpoint did.
What if I've already done something I regret?
The screen asks directly about physical harm and about a child's fear, and where those appear the program pauses and points to real professional support first. That's care, not an accusation — and the door stays open afterwards.
How much time does it take?
A minute whenever a moment spikes — there's no nightly prompt, because quiet days don't need one — plus ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session.
Be first to steady your hands
Steady Hands is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
Én e-post når programmet ditt åpner. Ingen dryppkampanje.