Programs · Loneliness · Reach Out
Reach Out
Building connection and easing loneliness with DBT
Loneliness is a signal, not a flaw — hunger for connection, the same as hunger for food. This program teaches the DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills aimed at that specific ache: reading the signal, naming the withdrawal spiral it can trap you in, and rebuilding the behavior of initiating in small, gradable reps. You climb a four-rung connection ladder, from a single message to hosting, and your own log keeps the honest score — including the response-rate reveal most people never expect.
The spiral has a shape, too
- A phone that doesn't buzz the way it used to.
- Invitations that stopped coming because they stopped being sent.
- Assuming the message would be unwelcome, so never sending it.
- A social world that has quietly shrunk without a decision being made.
- A growing suspicion that something about you makes connection hard.
The ladder counts reps, not results
Not a course you watch — a loop you run. Reach Out logs every attempt to initiate, shows you what proportion actually came back, and advances the ladder on the reaching rather than the reception.
Measure
A thirty-second weekly check-in on loneliness and days with zero social contact, plus a log for each attempt to reach out.
weekly + per repLearn
Short sessions with Simone teach the method — the signal, the spiral, the smallest rep, and how to be reachable.
10–15 min · most daysAdjust
The weekly review clears the rung and sets the next, from one message up to hosting.
weekly review↻ the loop runs weekly — six times
A rung clears the first time you actually run it and log it — connected, pending, or declined all count the same, because you control the reaching and never the reception. Then the program shows you the number almost nobody predicts correctly: what share of your outreach actually got answered. It's the reality check the withdrawal spiral relies on you never running.
Six weeks, one method
Thirteen sessions and five weekly reviews. The first week is free — including your baseline connection report.
Week 1The Signal and the SpiralWhat loneliness is, and the trap it can become3 sessions
Week 2The Smallest RepOne line, and what actually comes back3 sessions
Week 3Being There, Not Performing ThereFull entry, and the fear that comes along3 sessions
Week 4Asking for the Connection You WantThe plan, the room, and the flat rep4 sessions
Week 5Keeping What You BuildRhythm, reachability, and the top rung4 sessions
Week 6A Life With People In ItThe full report, and the standing practice1 sessions
Simone
DBT: interpersonal effectiveness · guides 4 programs
The interpersonal-effectiveness coach — warm and refreshingly practical about relationships, scripts and all. Simone treats asking for what you need as a skill, not a personality trait.
“Hi, I'm Simone. Over the next six weeks we're not going to fill your calendar — we're going to rebuild the habit of reaching, and show you how often it actually lands.”
Interpersonal effectiveness, aimed at the ache
Reach Out applies Linehan's interpersonal effectiveness skills to the behavior of initiating contact, against Cacioppo's withdrawal-spiral model of loneliness — where the ache itself makes connection feel riskier and the retreat then deepens the ache. The ladder is graded behavioral activation for social initiation, with the participate skill and self-validation carried in from elsewhere in the catalog.
- Interpersonal effectiveness for initiatingLinehan
- The withdrawal-spiral modelCacioppo
- Graded behavioral activation for social initiation
- Participate, and self-validation
A light screen that routes rather than gates
This is not a treatment for depression, social anxiety, or a crisis on its own. The onboarding screen routes energy-driven isolation toward Lift and judgment-driven avoidance toward Spotlight — because if the barrier is a flat battery or a fear of being judged, initiating reps are the wrong first move.
Isolation carrying hopelessness surfaces a crisis-resources card rather than a locked program. Nothing here gates. This is not medical advice.
Reach Out, next to the field
| Reach OutResiliens | Headspace — Reframing Lonelinessheadspace.com | Nodyouatcollege.com | Wisdo Healthwisdo.com | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Price | $149 one-time (draft) — the program is yours | $12.99/month or $69.99/year | Not purchasable by an individual | Not published |
| Structure | 6 weeks · 13 sessions + weekly reviews | A 10-session course of 10–20 minutes each, taught by Headspace's co-founder | Social challenges, reflections and peer testimonials, built on positive psychology, CBT, motivational interviewing and self-compassion. The challenges are a self-selected menu — its own review copy describes picking which ones to do 'so there's no pressure' — not a sequenced ladder | A five-step journey: persona mapping, coach-led communities (loneliness is one of 30+), 1:1 peer matching, group coaching on social resilience, then monthly check-ins |
| Personalization | Connection log → response rate → next rung | None | Challenge suggestions; no difficulty progression | Persona mapping and community matching |
| Human support | Self-guided · clinician-referral gates built in | None | None | Coach-led communities and group coaching — a genuine differentiator, and a different model from self-guided skills |
| Access | Self-serve, start today | Direct-to-consumer subscription | Institutional only | Free consumer app; the program itself is employer- and payer-distributed |
| Breadth | 24+ program catalog · bundle 2-3 related programs and save | Affect regulation toward acceptance. Its day-one transcript states the design choice explicitly: rather than looking for a solution externally, it looks inwards — and its explainer page confirms a loneliness meditation doesn't encourage moving toward a solution. No behavior, no outreach, no contact tracked | Dedicated to social connection for students | Peer connection broadly. Its ladder is engagement inside the platform — join a community, get matched with a stranger — rather than escalating initiation toward your own real-world contacts |
| Platforms | Web · iOS · Android | iOS · Android · Web | iOS · Android | iOS · Android |
Sources: competitor pricing and program pages — every production value carries a source URL and access date, and unpublished facts are labeled "not published," never guessed.
Why we built it differently
- A ladder, not a menu. One message, then a call, then a meeting, then hosting — sequenced, with the next rung prescribed. The closest thing anywhere is a pick-what-you-fancy list of challenges built to avoid pressure, from an app that hasn't shipped since early 2024.
- It tests the prediction instead of soothing it. Week two shows you what share of your outreach actually got answered. The matching apps sell you the answer to that question one profile at a time; the meditation courses ask you to sit with the feeling rather than check it.
- The rung clears on the reaching. Connected, pending and declined all count the same, because you control the sending and never the reply — which is what makes it practisable on a week when nobody answers.
Start free. Continue if it's working.
First week
- Onboarding + two full sessions
- Weekly check-in + connection log
- Your baseline connection report
Full program
- All six weeks of Reach Out, yours to keep
- Every session, review, and exercise
- Web + Untangle app access
Working on more than one thing? Related programs bundle together — two or three at a discount. Bundles are announced at launch.
Before you start
What if I reach out and nobody answers?
The rung still clears. Connected, pending and declined all count the same here, because you control the reaching and never the reception — and week two shows you what your actual response rate turns out to be, which is usually better than predicted.
Is this a friend-finding app?
No. It doesn't match you with anyone or introduce you to strangers. It rebuilds the behavior of initiating with the people already within reach, in graded steps from one message up to hosting.
What if I'm lonely because I'm depressed or anxious?
The screen checks for that. If the barrier is energy, you're pointed to Lift; if it's fear of judgment, to Spotlight. Reps are the wrong first move when something else is doing the blocking.
How much time does it take?
Thirty seconds for the weekly check-in, a quick log per attempt, and ten to fifteen minutes most days for the session. The first rung is a single message.
Be first to reach out
Reach Out is launching soon on the web and in the Untangle app. Join the early-access list and we'll let you know the moment it opens.
One email when your program opens. No drip campaign.